On Birth

Warning:

This post is about birth, babies, labor, and pain. You have been warned.

My son (it feels so weird to say that) will be 3 months old this weekend.

He was born at home. In the water. I had planned to give birth in one of those fancy birthing tubs but I gave birth in a small fishy pool that you can get for the kids for 25 dollars at Target. In our den. I was on my hands and knees. Gloria said that I gave birth like a mare. It was so primal. I didnt specifically chose to give birth on hands and knees but my body told me that I should. I just listened.

His birth was such an imperfect perfect experience. It was so long. So unbelievably long. It was hard and it was hard work. They dont call it labor for nothing…

In the tub

At the end of the day, even after the pain of unmedicated labor that lasts for days… I am thankful that I was at home. I am thankful that I did not have any medication for pain or anything to speed up my labor. I am thankful that I was not in a hospital, where labors as long as mine are not easily tolerated and where I would have been pushed to have pitocin at best, if not a csection. I am thankful that I was able to eat which was probably one of the only reasons why I had the strength that I had to go on for so long. I was thankful that I was able to walk around, move, sit in a tub, take a shower, sit on a yoga ball, and do whatever I wanted… I am thankfuly that my daughter was able to watch me work through giving birth to her brother, even if she is too young to remember it later.

Kate kissing me in labor

I am thankful that when it was all over I was able to lay down in my own bed. Under my own sheets. I am thankful that I was not poked and proded, that my child was not taken from me, and that we were all at peace at home. The way we were meant to be. I am so thankful for it all… for the peacefulness that accompanied us afterwards… for my midwife Jackie… for the support of my husband.. and for the fact that I was able to have the birth that I wanted when I wanted.

I wish the same for every woman.

Happy 1st quarter to my little Calvin. I love you.