Posted by: webbhouston | September 23, 2009

What a waste

Many things piss me off, I am sure you are all familiar with that by now… but fewer things piss me off than the expectation that a woman should be the sole caregiver of the children while the father “brings home the bacon” (this saying offends me for many other reasons too by the way). I work at at a firm that has very qualified and educated people but is mostly male driven. Yesterday one came in for an interview for a new position and when they left one of our consultants said,

“What a waste, he spent the last decade of his life raising his child isntead of moving up in the world. Now he will have to start over again at barely above journeyman salary. This would not have happened if his wife would have done the child rearing like she should have.”

Needless to say I completely lost it on him. This family was obviously not suffering, the wife had a good career and the father chose to stay home for the benefit of his son. His son is doing wonderfully and is old enough to not need Dad there as much so he has decided to go back to work.  How is spending time raising your child a “waste”? This goes for both men and women. When educated women leave the workforce to care for their children people often say that they are wasting their degrees.  Somehow we have decided that raising childen has no value, or at least not the value of a career.

How did we get to this point?



  1. Great point. I have a master’s degree in geology and am now a stay at home mamma- which I think is really the best use of my degree!! I find it so awesome when I see a dad at the park with the kids during the week- or just now a dad picked up his kids from my daycare. I enjoy it when my son takes his dolls and tries to “nurse” them because I know he sees himself as a nurturer when he does that. You asked “how did we get to this point?”… we have many choices in life and one of them is the to value money/power or simplicity (and the power that comes with that)… I feel that we have just chosen to respect money more then life itself. I enjoyed reading this post. I enjoy following your blog and it’s comforting to know that there are others out there who pause the refect about these bazaar notions that have become the norm!

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