Posted by: webbhouston | July 12, 2009

Babywatching by Desmond Morris

I am sitting here in my bathroom on my laptop while my almost three year old poops. Her and I have this thing where we sing to each other to make the time pass while she finishes up. It is a cute little ritual that probably annoys most other people.  She will sing to me and I sing back to her about our daily activities.  It helps her take the time to really let herself finish up and not get bored and get off of the potty too early.

I have been reading Babywatching by Desmond Morris recently in my spare time (because I have a lot of that apparently) and have come to understand better why attached parenting just makes sense to me.  Desmond Morris studied zoology and really goes into some evolutionary aspects to parenting and babies. He praises homebirth and how much more peaceful it is, he is against letting a child cry it out. He doesnt use “hippy dippy” reasons that many people dont like to read about, he uses science. His theories have been that we are basically “Naked Apes” and animals who just need to understand our instinct and follow it. Child rearing is very instinctual, or it should be.

One of the reasons why I feel so strongly about parenting is because I see many mothers/fathers who say that they know that something feels wrong/right but they dont follow their instincts because they are told by others (friends, family, books) that what they are doing is wrong. Mothers have been known to cry while they allow their child to learn to “self sooth” at a young age, but why do they do it? They were told that they were supposed to. Why are we so far gone that we no longer follow our own gut feelings about raising our children? Have we lost that gut feeling?

For me parenting is very primal. I must admit that I do run around with my kid attached to me at the breast while in a sling while topless many times at home. I like to go “native”.  Hey, it helps when you have thrush.  🙂  I really am liking the way that this book explores children. It lets us know how aware they are, much more aware than we give them credit for… and how we are parents can influence them and help them grow.  I am pleased to find a book that is about Attached Parenting that really has no agenda, he isnt selling slings or co-sleepers… he is just sharing his findings after years of research on animal behaviours.  I dont know if Desmond Morris would have called himself an attached parenting advocate, but he is definately an insintctual parenting advocate.

Now, what does this have to do with sitting in the bathroom while my daughter sings while she poops? I am not sure, but I know that my gut tells me that this is what I should do.  I should sit with my child while she experiences the scary world of potty learning. I should reinforce her beliefs that I will be ther for her in every way.  This is a good thing.  Yes, it is boring sometimes and the songs get endless and repetitive, she she needs me… so I am here.


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