Who are we?

Me: Working mom, Alma, wife. I never wanted kids, never wanted to get married, never wanted a white picket fence, never wanted to live out in the ‘burbs (i still dont technically).

Mike: My own version of the american dream. Small town-motorcycle-cowboy-working-class-hero-dad  all rolled up into a tight little package of fun. We have been together many years and met at work. This is why companies have rules against in-office romances.

Katherine: Super kate, our first born, little girl born Dec 2006, crazy and beautiful and fun

Calvin: Shake and Bake, beautiful boy born August 08

Gloria: Our nanny and a second mother to Super Kate, she helps keep me sane and takes care of the monsters while I work outside of the home.

Nana and Paux Paux: Mike’s parents, they are the happily married for a million years couple, they live in a small town in east texas.

Mama Connie and Pawpaw: Alma’s parents. First generation immigrants from Mexico who raised their children in the United States

Quincy: Poodle dog

Chiquita: Chihuahua dog

I will add more as is needed but for now this is it.

I dont talk about it much here but I am a working mom. I work full time.   I have been pumping for almost 3 years straight and I am really tired of it.

I have had 4 electric pumps and 2 manual pumps… I have 10 different sets of tubes, roughly 20 yellow valves, dozens of membranes for my machines, and a couple of battery packs.  I pump 2-4 times a day, depending on how many hours I work and how my body feels… I have pumped while in the middle of teleconferences, in closets, in my own office, in bathrooms, in cars, in airports, in buses.  It doesnt get easier if anything it gets harder sometimes. So why do I do it?

It is best for my children. Calvin is 11 months old and he still needs my milk, he probably will for a good while longer and that is ok. He needs me and my first job is not running the oil and gas company that I currently work for…. it is being a mother. I made the choice to have children and I refuse to put them on the back burner. Because of this in a couple of weeks I am dragging both of my children to Richland, WA so that I can help set up our Washington offices better. I am taking my kids and my mother with me so that they can be with me because I do not think that either of them are ready to be without me for very long.

I have made the choice before to not go on trips because I didnt find it fair to leave my kids along or to drag them along. They were younger and it really would have been harder. This will be one of possibly many more trips and I have made it clear that I will not go on a trip without them.

My job pays bills. It helps us live the life that we have… but my children are not worth a few dollars or a better position. My children need me and I need them. I am working mother, but above all I am a mother.

I am sitting here in my bathroom on my laptop while my almost three year old poops. Her and I have this thing where we sing to each other to make the time pass while she finishes up. It is a cute little ritual that probably annoys most other people.  She will sing to me and I sing back to her about our daily activities.  It helps her take the time to really let herself finish up and not get bored and get off of the potty too early.

I have been reading Babywatching by Desmond Morris recently in my spare time (because I have a lot of that apparently) and have come to understand better why attached parenting just makes sense to me.  Desmond Morris studied zoology and really goes into some evolutionary aspects to parenting and babies. He praises homebirth and how much more peaceful it is, he is against letting a child cry it out. He doesnt use “hippy dippy” reasons that many people dont like to read about, he uses science. His theories have been that we are basically “Naked Apes” and animals who just need to understand our instinct and follow it. Child rearing is very instinctual, or it should be.

One of the reasons why I feel so strongly about parenting is because I see many mothers/fathers who say that they know that something feels wrong/right but they dont follow their instincts because they are told by others (friends, family, books) that what they are doing is wrong. Mothers have been known to cry while they allow their child to learn to “self sooth” at a young age, but why do they do it? They were told that they were supposed to. Why are we so far gone that we no longer follow our own gut feelings about raising our children? Have we lost that gut feeling?

For me parenting is very primal. I must admit that I do run around with my kid attached to me at the breast while in a sling while topless many times at home. I like to go “native”.  Hey, it helps when you have thrush.    I really am liking the way that this book explores children. It lets us know how aware they are, much more aware than we give them credit for… and how we are parents can influence them and help them grow.  I am pleased to find a book that is about Attached Parenting that really has no agenda, he isnt selling slings or co-sleepers… he is just sharing his findings after years of research on animal behaviours.  I dont know if Desmond Morris would have called himself an attached parenting advocate, but he is definately an insintctual parenting advocate.

Now, what does this have to do with sitting in the bathroom while my daughter sings while she poops? I am not sure, but I know that my gut tells me that this is what I should do.  I should sit with my child while she experiences the scary world of potty learning. I should reinforce her beliefs that I will be ther for her in every way.  This is a good thing.  Yes, it is boring sometimes and the songs get endless and repetitive, she she needs me… so I am here.

Long time, no update… I know I know.. bad blogger.

I just came back from vacation and realized how hard it is to keep a green lifestyle while travelling. They dont make it easy on you, especially if you have kids.

Mike mentioned that he was thankful that I always did what I could to make sure that even while travelling we were healthy and eating well but I honestly did not feel like we did a great job.

We went to a couple of parks and such.  Amusement parks are incredibly wasteful…and some make it almost impossible to stay green.

We went to Schlitterbahn and stayed on the resort at the rapids part.  My reasoning was this. We did not have to drive to the park, the prices at the resort were not that different than a hotel around New Braunfels, we could go back to the hotel to have lunch/dinner/etc. and it would be easier on the kids.

My reasons were all right and we did do all of those things… I have to say that I loved staying there and I loved the park. They encourage people to bring in their own food and drinks, they do not allow styrofoam containers and they really are friendly to packing your own stuff.  It makes it much easier to save money and eat healthier foods. You bring your cooler along and go to town. This part wasnt so bad…

Then we went to Sea World and it all went downhill from there.  Not going into the issues that I have with Sea World (which will be in another post rest assured) they are really awful at helping families eat well while they are there. Their food is outrageously expensive and they do not let you bring in any foods or drinks. For our family with two young children this is incredibly difficult because we have to give them water and food every few minutes, especially in 105+ degree heat in central Texas. We spent a fortune and the food was no better than a McDonalds or Burger King, two places where my children have never eaten and that I hope they dont in a long time…  I have to say that I have no desire to go back to Sea World and that I feel truly guilty for how wasteful we were during this day. They give you everything in paper/carboard. They have nowhere to recycle it, it is all just trashed. While they do have recycling for plastic bottles I saw 3 of those recycling baskets in the whole park (there might be more but not nearly enough) and while I wanted to purchase a reusable sports bottle that they give (a souvenir one with Shamu on it) so that we wouldnt have to purchase and throw away more paper cups with plastic lids, the 4 places where I asked about them were out. I dont understand it. Apart from being the most expensive (by far) day of our trip it was probably the one that we enjoyed the least. We went as part of a family tradition of going and because Mike thought that the kids would enjoy it. They did enjoy parts of it, I wont lie… it wasnt a total bust. The aquarium was really cool for both of them and Kate loved seeing the sharks… but I would have preferred an aquarium, not an amusement park owned by Budweiser. .. I digress. The quality of the food was just abismal. I got 7 strawberries for 5 dollars because I really wanted my children to have fruits/veggies and not just fried chicken strips and french fries while out.

Going back to the rest of the trip. What helped us in trying to both save money and not be wasteful was a) our cooler b) ice and c) local grocery stores and d) our Kleen Kanteens. We loaded those puppies up before we left and they lasted us 3 days so we did not have to get bottled water while we were in our rooms or pay for the overpriced stuff that was being sold in vending machines at the hotels.

We stopped at a Super S Foods is Johnson City and gathered some supplies in the middle of our journey across the Hill Country in central Texas. With those provisions we had fresh fruit, sandwich material, and were able to stop at Pedernales State Park for a picnic and eat at our hotel room. You can never have enough ice. Ever.

What would I have done differently? Had some more shelf stable foods. Made some more snacks like granola bars and cookies. I made muffins and they were great but they did not last very long with a family of 4 in a 7 day road trip.

I will be posting more random ideas that come to me as I get them but I learned a great deal on this trip regarding how to keep your ethical/moral beliefs while enjoying a vacation in a world that does not understand why you dont want to feed your kids doritos and koolad jammers for breakfast/lunch/dinner.

I got into a discussion with someone recently about my beliefs and our lifestyle. They said that it didnt matter what I taught my children. It didnt matter that we didnt allow them to have coke or boxed juices. That so what if I didnt let them eat regular candy…. they are just going to grow up and do worse things as adults.

This got me to thinking…yeah.. they might.

My children might grow up and mainline heroin directly into their bloodstream. I have accepted that. My children might grow up and decide that they are republicans as well. So be it. However I cannot give up. I will not give up.

Mike and I are trying to plant good seeds in our children’s hearts. The seeds of compassion, love, self respect, caring for others, and caring for the world that they live in. I hope that those seeds will help my children sprout into good human beings who are a benefit to society.

No, I dont expect my kids to agree with everything that we do and no I dont expect that they will be little clones of us. I do hope that they are good human beings and that they do their best… in whatever that may be. I hope that they find their bliss.

I hope that with the little basis that we are giving our children that they will grow up to keep the tenants of a good society in mind, even if it means disagreeing with the existing beliefs that the government and that some in power might have. I hope that they will understand that they do not have to follow the herd if the herd is wrong… which many times it is.

Maybe my hopes are too much and maybe I have an idealistic view of what my children should grow up to be… but some people expect their children to be doctors or lawyers. Some people expect their children to carry on their family name in certain fields. I just expect my children to be happy, do their best, and do not harm.

I have updated my blog look to make more sense. I have also included a new header which is a picture that Devin took this weekend when we hung out.

This picture of our children is perfect. Much <3 to her.

Speaking of love.

This picture makes Kate look amazingly beautiful and serene. The hat, the fence… I am amazed at how gentle she looks. This pic looks so old fashioned I almost want to make it into a black and white photograph and see how it looks. I might mess with it in a bit.

Especially because THIS is what she normally looks like. Tongue out. Dirty face. Basically a blur… She is such a nut.

I started babywearing with Kate… and I have tons of babywearing devices. So many consumer reports would probably say that I am putting my children’s life in danger or something… LOL (see a couple posts ago about this).

When Calvin was born I did not need more stuff so I havent bought a new babywearing device in ages. This Mother’s day I decided that I needed a really good supportive wrap for my big babies and decided to splurge on a good Didymos waves.

I didnt know if getting a woven wrap in the middle of the texas heat would be a good idea but I went for it. I have worn this wrap every time that I have needed a babywearing device since I got it.  Today is was over 90 degrees and hot as hell.

Here is Calvin hanging out in the new waves while at the park today. I am putting Kate in a swing and he is just chilling.

Here you can see Kate and Aidan walking hand in hand and Calvin’s head peeping out from the top of the waves while I carry two bags.

I am so in love with this wrap. It is cool and supportive. Soft and comfy. I really dont know how I lived so long without it.

Should I stop breastfeeding my baby if I think I have come in contact with the flu?

So the CDC has put out this memo.

No. Because mothers make antibodies to fight diseases they come in contact with, their milk is custom-made to fight the diseases their babies are exposed to as well. This is really important in young babies when their immune system is still developing. Breastfeeding also helps the baby to develop his own ability to fight off diseases.

Is it ok to breastfeed my baby if I am sick?

Yes. This is really important.

• Do not stop breastfeeding if you are ill. Ideally babies less than about 6 months of age should get their feedings from breast milk. Breastfeed early and often. Limit formula feeds as much as possible. This will help protect your baby from infection.
• If you are too sick to breastfeed, pump and have someone give the expressed milk to your baby.

If my baby is sick, is it okay to breastfeed?

Yes. One of the best things you can do for your sick baby is keep breastfeeding.

• Do not stop breastfeeding if your baby is ill. Give your baby many chances to breastfeed throughout the illness. Babies who are sick need more fluids than when they are well. The fluid babies get from breast milk is better than anything else, even better than water, juice, or Pedialyte® because it also helps protect your baby’s immune system.
• If your baby is too sick to breastfeed, he or she can drink your milk from a cup, bottle, syringe, or eye-dropper.
• If no expressed milk is available, you can give your baby milk donated by other mothers to a HMBANA-certified milk bank.

Is it okay to take medicine to treat or prevent novel H1N1 flu while breastfeeding?

Yes. Mothers who are breastfeeding should continue to nurse their babies while being treated for the flu.

Please check back to www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/ often for the most recent updates.

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The reason that I am posting this is because the search strings that have been leading a whole lot of people to my blog have been regarding the swine flu and breastfeeding. So I figured this would be a good thing to post.

Please if you dont listen to some random chick on the internet (i.e. me) listen to the center for disease control regarding this. Breastfeeding is TRULY important when it comes to this, it will help your babies.

One of the most common mistakes that I have found that parents make (especially new parents) is trying to follow what books say that their children should do.

To begin with, not all books same the same thing. If you happen to come across the book that says that children should sleep from 6:30 pm on then you might think that your child is abnormal for not wanting to fall asleep at until 9.  If you come across a book that says that they need to sleep 14 hours a day and you child only sleeps 11, you are probably going to cause yourself some grief (and your child too) trying to force longer naps and earlier bedtimes to try and force your child to fit into this little box.

Not all kids are ready to start solids right at 6 months. Not all kids sleep through the night at 6 months. Not all kids walk at a year. Not all kids talk at 10 months… and you know what?

IT. IS. OK.

You know your child and if your child doesnt meet the milestones that “What to expect in the first year” has set for them… dont freak out.  Please dont freak out. If your child is severly delayed then of course seek help and make sure that this is not a sign of something else but please do not try to fit your child into the premade boxes that child developmental psychologists decided was the “norm” after studying a handful of kids.

We are all different, and this includes children. Just follow your child’s cues and try not to place any unnecessary expectations on them and your life will be much easier. Dont expect them to sit still at dinner if they are 2 years old and dont expect potty training if they are 18 months. If they are still wanting a bottle or nursing at a year and a half or two years…. so be it. It is ok.

Just nurture your child and make sure that you allow them to grow at their own pace. Trust me, they will grow. They will talk soon enough and they will potty train soon enough. They will wean soon enough and they wont be 18 years old and sleeping in bed with you. Remember this and you will be fine.

I understand that this article is part of your blogs section and not part of published research that you guys have done but please understand that the comments are ignorant at best.

Until they do, we think the safest place for your baby to sleep is in a crib.

This comment is not at all true. Research has shown that cosleeping safely is safe, even safer than a child sleeping alone in a crib as it reduces the risk of SIDS. How many babies have died in cribs alone CR? Yeah, that number is pretty huge… so tell me again how cribs are safer? Come on.. I dare you.

Over the past five years, at least four babies died and there have been many reports of serious injury associated with the use of sling-type carriers.

How many have died in baby buckets? What were the cirmcumstances of these deaths? IF you are going to fear monger at least provide sufficient data that can help a parent make truly informed decisions Historyically babywearins has helped babies and children alike, even saved lives… if your baby is tied to you it wont get eaten by animals, it wont get left behind, and it wont attract predators… so this was a good idea in ancient times. In modern times it helps mothers who are suffering from post partum, it helps babies with colic, and it has been shown to help preemie babies thrive… so where do you get your genuis ideas to skip babywearing?

CR, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I have already had a handful of people tell me that I should stock up on formula in case I get the swine flu and I cant breastfeed.

I felt that it was necessary to do a small PSA regarding this topic here because if I can avoid ONE mother from doing this I will be happy and be able to die in peace.

If you have the flu, you DO NOT… I repeat.. you DO NOT have to stop breastfeeding. You dont have to pump and dump and you are not putting your child at risk for anything. By the time that you realize that you are ill your child has already been exposed and nursing will only help. Why?

Well breastmilk has awesome properties that help fight off illnesses and your child will get our antibodies through the breatmilk itself, so it is like a vaccine.. except through their little mouths.

Here is a great article regarding illnesses and breastfeeding.

So people that have told me to stock up on formula… a) i wont do it b) stop spreading this misinformation around because I would hate for a mother to stop breastfeeding because of this.